5 Reasons you shouldn’t be worried that you don’t have a PlayStation 4 to play Spiderman.

Posted by Jayson Bumbalough on

Spider-Man for PlayStation 4 was released last week, and I couldn’t be more disgusted. How dare Sony release a game with stunning graphics, hours of fascinating gameplay, and a truly immersive city that you can swing around. I want to vomit. I’ll be boycotting this game and you should too. Here are my five reasons.

5. Go Outside

Don’t you miss the sunshine? I do. Instead of playing a silly game about a man with spider powers go outside and play with real spiders! Did you know that your average garden spider spends most of the day alone wondering when it’s kids will visit? Help a spider out and be a companion.

4. Play the vintage Spider-man games

There is a rich back catalog of Spider-man video games to choose from. Instead of “joining the cool kids” and buying into the hype of playing a truly immersive and groundbreaking game, go old school and break out the original PlayStation and dive into the cutting edge graphics of the year 2000. Better yet go even more old school and dig up a copy of Atari’s 1982 hit Spiderman or you can find the game here at Internet Archive. Don’t burn your eyeballs out with these blazing hot graphics.

3. Read some comics!

What better way to enjoy Pider-man than jump back into the medium that created him-comics. Explore classic storylines like the Clone Saga, One More Day, the story where Gwen Stacey has Norman Osborne's twins!

2. Films

Spiderman has enjoyed success on the silver screen as well. Lately, he gained new popularity being in some small Marvel productions called the Avengers but his greatest cinematic achievement of all time just hit Netlifx – Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3. It has amnesia, Topher Grace as Venom and evil dancing down a street. If you have watched this modern classic, you can’t call yourself a Spider-Man fan.

1. I own an Xbox One

Damn it. Is being a Halo fan worth it now that this beautiful game has arrived. Master Chief can’t swing through a New York Skyline and tell funny jokes. At the time it made perfect sense to buy an Xbox; I had an extensive back library of Xbox titles. But, now that this game is on the scene my Xbox looks like hot garbage sitting in my entertainment center. I might as well throw it out. It can’t play Spider-Man!

Conclusion

I’m bitter. Perhaps one day Sony will bless us that made the wrong choice in a console and release an Xbox version of Spider-man, but I’m not holding my breath. I’m going to start hoarding my nickels and dimes now, so maybe one day I can bask in the glory of this magnificent game.

P.S. I actually love my Xbox but need funds for a PlayStation.


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